Nose.

I'm up at 7:11 on a Sunday because I'm congested. My nose if full of crap and my lungs are sick. I probably have something diagnoseable like bronchitis or a sinus infection but I'm going to ride this one out and see how it goes.

I don't understand noses. I mean, I understand them in that they are our smell receptors and they are very important. I understand them in that they have their defaults because we evolved from four legged creatures, now we're on two legs and our sinus system is still built for four legs and that's why it dams up and stuff. Our sinuses are supposed to be hanging down with our nostrils to the ground so all this garbage drips out as we go along hunting for gazelle and mongooses, or whatever our ancestors liked to eat. Whatever they ate, it was the sick ones because they were the slowest, so maybe some of our sinus sickness comes from that too. We have evolved into cold-catching creatures because our ancestors habitually caught snotty zebras.

I mean I don't understand noses in that when I blow mine, it should clear out. It doesn't. I see pictures of human skulls and right there are big sinus cavities, empty nothings with a straight shot out the nostrils. It's those suckers who are filling up with crap, so when I blow my nose, shouldn't all that mess rocket out like no big thing? It would fill up again and again because my nose glands would be activated to clear out whatever is irritating it, but the logic seems to be violated by my complete inability to blow out of my nose what is blocking my breathing. I understand that when I lay down, the stuff settles back to block my passages so my breathing is interrupted. I understand that when I stand up, it settles down into the bottom part of my sinus cavity and my passages are usually cleared. But WHAT IS BLOCKING IT FROM COMING OUT. Are there parts to noses that I'm not aware of? Are there cartilages in the sinus cavities like little hedge mazes that the goop needs to weedle through before it can escape? Is it some high-society garden party in my sinuses with minotaurs and droll mimes around every corner?

This explanation would explain the success of the neti pot. pour water in that pushes through the maze and exits through the front. I've only ever seen a neti pot in pop culture, but I guess that's not surprising. A lot of things I've only ever seen in pop culture, like lamborghinis and machine guns. The neti pot I saw on the Office when Dwight Schrute shoved the teapot Jim gave to Pam up his nose, and on Six Feet Under when Ruth found George's neti pot in the cupboard in the kitchen and it sparked a big fight. Oh, Ruth. You have such terrible taste in men. Hiram, Nikolai, George, Arthur (as played by Dwight Schrute).

It's not so bad being up early. I feel like my day is longer and I can do more. I used to hate getting up early on the weekends but now it's fun. And I hate snow, and I love roasting vegetables, and I'm totally responsible with my money. Must be old.

Roasting vegetables, man. I've never been so excited to make some potatoes and carrots. I've never, ever been excited about carrots. I don't even like carrots. But I've never had them roasted, so it'll be a whole new thing. I'm thinking about a little brown sugar. We have to do something with them, because I bought a whole bag and dad bought a whole bag. There was a lack of grocery communication. This also happened with a bottle of balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing. We also have a lot of tomato paste. I do not know what one does with so much tomato paste besides stirring a tablespoon into a huge pot of soup or some pasta sauce here and there. There is no tomato paste casserole and I do not think there is a great demand for one to be invented.

I think I'm turning a corner in my cooking ability where I don't need a printed recipe in front of me all the time. This is great, because now I can save trees while I cook. Less paper! I made butternut squash soup the other day and it was awesome. The recipe just called for butternut squash, chicken stock, salt and pepper, but I added allllll this other stuff and it was fab. I didn't have amounts, like teaspoons and stuff, and I hadn't seen it on the food network so much, so I was on my own and I succeeded! I can pretty much make anything now as long as it doesn't call for celery or fennel. I hate both of those things. They ruin everything. I also avoid meat now. I'll make it for people who eat it but I don't eat it. Mom and I are trying to go all organic, and she said to me yesterday, "I guess we're just going to have to go to Whole Foods from now on," which is a little like telling me we're going to celebrate my birthday once a week. Whole Foods...and Trader Joe's...all the time? Damn, I'll wake up at 7:11 every Sunday if you tell me I'll get to go to Whole Foods.