Ladies.

Today I went shopping with my friend H and I bought bins and sleeping bags. I bought the bins because I need to pack up my crap and I need sleeping bags for 5 year old boys. I'm not crazy about the design on them - it's this pixellated blue camouflage pattern and I kind of totally hate it when non-military people use or wear camo, but they are blue which is a calming color with good juju. And my other options were all that stupid kiddie design crap like Hannah Montana or Dora the Explorer or Cars with Tow Mater and Bonnie Hunt's sexy blue convertible car character grinnin' all over the place. Why Bonnie Hunt? Was she really the sexiest voice that movie could swing for their heroine? And do I remember correctly that her car was supposed to be owned by a lawyer? Am I making that up? Because I don't remember any people in that movie. And there were a lot of things that only people could make, like neon signs and buildings and stuff. All the cars must have killed the people. I'm not putting sleeping 5 year olds in zippered polyester covered in pictures of such dastardly villains, so I went with blue pixel camouflage.

I put a distress signal out on facebook that I wanted more lady vocalists on my iPod. Most of my music is dudes. That's cool, I like dudes, but I want to expand my horizons and I want to get into the female perspective on stuff. Most songs are about love (unless you are the Decemberists, in which case it's about ghosts and princesses and vendettas) and I feel like I'm neglecting 51% of the population's take on the subject. That's right, gentlemen - there's more of us than of you. Now if we could all figure out how to vote the same way we could run this joint.

I hate to say it, but in the past I have not enjoyed women's voices or their music or lyrics. I don't know why. I have preferred men's voices and music. I don't know if this is because I have been conditioned to like men's voices more, if it's because there are so many more men vocalists and bands out there in the genres I prefer, or if it's because I am attracted to men. I have a male friend who's name IS his initials so I can't really name him here, but he probably has more female vocalists in his music library than male vocalists, and his library is impressive indeed. When I last spoke to him I think he was up to 250 GB. Now it's probably more. I remember not even believing that there were enough women musicians (of our preferred genres) out there to fill up that many gigs. For shame, Jacky.

I remember asking him about his vast collection of lady singers and he said something to the tune of, "women's voices are my favorite instrument. I think it's because I'm attracted to women, but I prefer them." So maybe that's it. I think I've wanted to be sung to, and I've wanted to be sung to by a guy. I used to listen almost exclusively to musicals and they have the most wonderful love songs in musicals. Just amazing. And those songs are sung TO somebody, and aren't for a bunch of half-attentive gender-nonspecific people listening to the radio on their way to the grocery store. Because THOSE songs by women almost KILLED my ability to enjoy lady singers. Are you hearing me, Katy Perry? Faith Hill? LeAnn Rimes, Rihanna, Britney, Christina, Miley, Madonna(recent)? Yeah you, Sheryl Crow and Shania Twain, guilty. Taylor Swift...you're ok. And then gasbags like Heidi Montag tried to crowbar their way into a musical career...current pop-culture women singers do not have a terrifically impressive or illustrious curriculum vitae right now, and I just don't know where to go or how to look for the artists who perform in the styles and genres I like.

And damn, I loved those musicals. I had planned on being a musical pit-orchestra violinist from about ages 12 to 20, did you know? Because the music is so gorgeous. Musical love songs are meant to immerse all of your senses into the beauty of a perfect moment, and I know I have been completely sucked in by that. I think listening to musicals and hearing fantastic voices sing beautiful songs to enraptured lovers really shaped my tastes. I was young! And I had fantasies! And they involved handsome heroes confessing their love for me through song! And those feelings have hopped the fence and attached themselves to my current musical tastes today! Conversely, what women sang about in musicals sucked a little bit. They always got the "woman ballads," as my friend P says, which is a slow song about waiting for love or wishing for love or being confused my love or wanting to sacrifice everything for love or some other kind of melancholy boo-hoo shit. Not awesome. So I'd skip forward until Robert Goulet sang "If ever I would leave you" and imagine myself up on the balcony.

But now, I think what I have in my real life is a lot better than all those Handsome Hero Fantasies, and the thought of having men sing to me isn't nearly as wonderful as having one particular person give me a kiss goodnight. In fact, they're something I almost want to throw off myself, like training wheels - "well, don't need THESE stupid things anymore" - and I am aghast that women are so poorly represented in my music, which I listen to daily. Bad feminist! I realize I've almost cut myself off from a whole universe of expression, and it's one that I feel I should appreciate more because it springs from people who share a lot of what I am. And I KNOW they are out there, and I know they sing about awesome stuff in awesome ways, and I know I haven't found them only because I've been a lazy S.O.B in tracking them down, especially with such grand assets like le internet magnifique at my disposal. And seriously, after posting the query on facebook, I had about 30 suggestions in mere hours, most of which were FABULOUS.

So pretty soon I'm gonna be knee deep in lady voices. Next is to read more lady authors. Stand by, Facebook.